I have been thinking a lot about being 16. I feel like 16 is an age that is almost fetishized. Whether it's someone who peaked in high school, or someone who was a bit of a loser back then, it's super easy to think about high school and remember the times spent hanging out with friends. It seems like that's all that's remembered as we settle into our adult lives. I don't want to pretend like there isn't a single good thing about being 16, going to school and having a built in social network is amazing. As I grow older, I realize how unique that experience is — being in a building with hundreds of people your age, probably also eager to make friends. I think that you can see your friends often as an adult if you both commit to it, but even that is pretty rare. I miss not needing an excuse, or planning it out weeks in advance, just to see my friends, but I don't want to pretend that being 16 was or is easy.
In my opinion, we like to pretend this part of our lives was easy, and maybe it was easy for some, but that statement is a bit of a lie. As adults we don't think about the main thing that occupied our minds at the time, which is school. How can you? We have the benefit of hindsight, and knowing that it really wasn't that serious. School is extremely important, but the nice thing about life is that there are always options. You can almost fix things or take an alternative path. At the time you're told that your whole adult life depends on a test that you're gonna take in a couple weeks, who wouldn't be stressed about that? We so conviently remember hanging out with friends after school, without thinking about the mid-term exam that was hanging over our heads the entire day. This is without mentioning the broken dam's worth of emotions and hormones that are flowing through you at 16. It's almost like your body's had 16 years to prepare and is now sending them all at once. I don't miss being 16, being sixteen fucking sucks. I want to remind myself of that as I age a little bit. It is so tempting to think fondly about my high school years, conviently ignoring the fact that I ate lunch alone in a corner freshman year. I love being 16 and experiencing love and heartbreak and the rawness of human emotions for the first honest time, but shit is so much easier now. I am still struggling as someone in their 20s, but I can acknowledge that I don't feel as emotional or volatile as I did in my teens.
Let's be honest with ourselves, we just miss being in a community and having more free time. It's not normal to have to plan a hangout weeks or even months in advance. We need a sense of community. I want to be able to take a walk and run into a friend and ask them how they're doing, what they've been up to, and if they want to have dinner together soon. We were not made for our current times. I feel like an email reaching your inbox — where's the heart? Love me and I will love you. We forget the pain but not the good, I guess that's what I'm trying to say.