Hi, this is the first post on my website. I'm a little drunk while writing this so it may be a little more confessional than you will find in other posts. It's currently 2:09AM while writing this and I have work tomorrow at 12:00PM, so I should probably go to sleep soon but I wanted to post something on my website. Today I wanted to watch the UFC event, order some food, drink a little bit, and have a good time. I mostly succeded except that the alcohol made me sleepy and I fell asleep during the last couple fights of the main card of the event. Substance use is probably something that I will write about a lot on this website, because it is something that I thinnk about often and have complex feelings towards. In reality I love substances, especially weed. I go through periods of using weed with breaks in-between, but when I use weed I do it very often—often wake and baking and using it throughout the day. I don't know, I feel like I take these breaks to prove to myself that I can go without it, but I do miss it and I can see the effects of heavy weed use in my speech and typing. The biggest symptom is skipping over words constantly, I hope it's temporary, but I guess it's not too bad. I just have to remember to proof-read literally everything. I think I've been thinking about substance use so much lately because I have been feeling a little depressed and to an extent, I am using alchol to take my mind off things, which makes me feel like an alcoholic lol.
I don't know what I am if I'm not depressed, but recently I have just felt something lacking in my life. I feel a little guilty even typing this out because it feels like I'm oversharing. What is on the internet will stay on the internet until the end of times. Recently the only thing that has brought excitment and joy into my life is this website, strangely enough. I feel excited to have a place where I can talk about whatever I'm feeling. I hope somebody reads this and can relate. I have friends but nobody that I feel I can talk to about this stuff I guess. There's nobody better to tell all your problem to than the cyber-void. If you have read this far, I truly appreciate it. I am hoping to set up a comment section soon once this little fucking probation period ends on this website and I encourage anyone to reach out and leave a comment. I am more than open to talking with anyone that's cool. I imagine I will be posting here often, so if anyone is interested in hearing more, see you soon.